Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. Proverbs 13:12
Definition of Deferred: Put off (an action or event) to a later time; postpone.
I use to think hope deferred in my life was a result of my circumstances or someone else was preventing my dream from being fulfilled. But this week I realized the only person that can keep me from hoping is myself.
For awhile I have been struggling with the desire to have more children. Recently I read a book called “Children of Dreams” and my heart began to stir with the idea of adoption.
My heart had pondered this idea many times before. But my mind had always said no, it’s too impossible, or I simply would stop thinking about it because I was afraid.
But what I hadn’t noticed is how sick my heart was…the emotion that fills my heart when I consider adoption is overwhelming. My heart feels like that about a lot of things.
This weekend I realized that I was holding back my hope out of fear. When I began thinking and hoping for adoption again I felt different…my dream has not been fulfilled yet, but I’m hoping and dreaming again. I’m talking about it in spite of the tears that often run down my face because I am so overwhelmed…
More hopes are surfacing now and I’m realizing all the things I said “no” to out of fear. All the amazing things God has planned for me, all of His gifts, I kept rejecting them, I kept saying “no thank you.”
Personally I am not too confident that we are ready for these amazing things God has planned for us, but I’m not putting off the action of hoping any longer, and I’m done saying “no” to God. God has been trying to open doors for me and I have been frantically trying to close and lock the doors…but no man can close a door that God has opened.
Hope deferred doesn’t come without consequence, it makes the heart sick. The heart becomes angry, apathetic, selfish, and controlling. We can’t ignore the beauty of His grace in our life without some sort of consequence, we were designed to be cherished by Him, He wants to bless us, and He wants to grow His kingdom here on earth.
What would happen if we said “yes” more instead of saying “no?” It’s takes faith for sure, and it takes a simple choice. We can either choose faith or we can choose fear…
Dear Jesus, Thank you for being so patient with me. I’m sorry for not accepting your amazing gifts, I was just afraid. Afraid that I wasn’t good enough, and afraid that I would somehow be disappointed or hurt. But I’m choosing to trust you now and I want to start hoping for the blessings you have planned for me. Lord help me to keep my focus on You, and Your plan for my life. Help me to not be consumed with my dreams, but instead be driven to serve You and receive your gifts as they come to me and my family. I pray this in your mighty name. – Amen
Copyright © 2012 Heather Bixler, All Rights Reserved
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